i had a lovely conversation with d tonight. he said something very profound about forgetting the past.  he likened life to driving a car. there are distractions all around you, left, right, and behind. if you fail to look at what’s behind you, it just may cause you to wreck. but your focus remains on that which is in front of you, your destination. he said that we can’t forget about our past, neither can we focus on it. we need only be aware of it so that it doesn’t creep up on his and cause us to crash. well said, d, well said.

he and i have quite a past. i hadn’t spoken to him, heard his voice in years. we fell off several years ago and out of the blue he hit me up on christmas 2010.  blew me away. we talked off an on via email for a year and we entered 2012 with a facebook email “happy new year.”

while in the shower after our marathon conversation, it dawned on me that when we met i was 19 or 20. we started dating just after i turned 21 and we ended our relationship 3 years later. looking back  i can see how young we both were. he’ll be 40 this year and i’m not far behind. when we met we were just kids. trying to figure out our lives, what love was, how to love each other. we were in no way ready for the trip our lives (together and apart) took. i saw him as “grown” as a “man” as so much older than me and in retrospect i see that we were both young and silly but very much in love.

we will never be together again romantically, but he was and always will be my very best friend.

i love you, still, d.