1979. a film called when a stranger calls about a psycho who terrorizes a babysitter. he calls her from inside house and says, “did you check the children?” when i was a kid my eldest sister watched the film and likely we did too, and she would frighten the crap out of us with the phrase when our parents were at work. looking back, it’s a humorous memory, in the present, when a stranger calls my cell phone after 4 years of silence, it’s not quite so funny.

a few days after christmas my ex calls and leaves a voicemail. i deleted his number years ago and when i saw the number my immediate response was “no no no no no.” like what the hell does this man want after 4 years? last i knew, he was very married, a truth he conveniently skirted when i asked. i sent him a happy new year text and he asked if could call me. i again asked about kids and a wife and again he dodged the question.

how is it that i’m not even a full 31 days into the year and already my past has resurfaced? what in the fuck is happening in the universe? this man is threatening to move to my city. my city??? c’mon universe. i know the good lord would not punish me this way so surely it’s the devil of the universe, skeletor himself who is fucking with me and trying to derail my progress.

if this man moves to my city i will most definitely be a buck oh 5 and he will rue the day he married someone else. for truth.