no limits

lately the phrase, “no limits,” has been ringing in my head. i mentioned it to a friend and shortly thereafter i stumbled upon a message by the same title. in it pastor gordon banks said, there is no limit to what we can do in CHRIST. JESUS is the pin to our bank account and whatever it is we are seeking, desiring, expecting sits just beyond our willingness to ask and trust him, in and for, all things.

sometimes i am fully committed to my faith and have no doubt that what i desire will come to pass, but when i’m ripping years off the calendar and time is passing faster than my life is progressing my faith wanes and i look heavenward and ask, did you hear me?

a few weeks ago i was journaling, something i’ve been trying to do weekly to help me unravel the thoughts entangled in my mind. i grabbed my pen and told myself,

stop overthinking. just move forward. you will not have all the answers, the picture will not be perfectly clear. you know the LORD gave you singleblackfemale.me so WRITE THE VISION. speak what He tells you. you know you want to start a podcast, so do it. you know you want to launch a webinar series for project managers, so do it. stop waiting, delaying, questioning, second guessing. do not compare your gift or desire to anyone else’s. you are paralyzed because of what other people know or do. move forward and trust God. fear is a liar. fear is of the devil. GOD has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

i had no idea that two days later i would stumble across a podcast that would define that journal entry as results of “the impostor syndrome” and provide me with tools to overcome it. or that i would attend revival at church and hear the most profound statement from pastor mike hayes,

the word spoken over your life will wait for your character, maturity, and commitment to match the word of your prophesy.

pastor mike shared excerpts from his 40-year pastoral career, acquiring property, erecting buildings each one larger than its predecessor, the prophetic words spoken over his life and ministry that were not fulfilled for 20-years after he received them.

when i pray i expect answers, immediately, because the longer i wait the greater the likelihood i will give up and replace the prayer with something else or quit praying altogether. not long ago i opened a prayer journal from january 2016 and here is what i found:

january 2016: i recapped the sale of my townhouse in october 2015 ending 8 years of being a long distance landlord and HOA president. i paid off my car 3.5y early on a 5.5 year loan.

august 2016: i penned a prayer to move into a house in 12 months as my lease was up and i was done with renting.

july 2017: the second house i saw is the house for which i submitted an offer.

august 2017: i moved into the new house.

the atmosphere of my mind is shifting, it’s almost imperceptible, like watching for the minute hand to move around a clock face. if you blink you’ll miss it. i vacillate between confidence that my dreams will become reality and uncertainty that i have had the right dreams. i find that when doubt creeps in, if i am fully present and vigilant, hope is standing there too. when i go back and read my own words, my written prayers, my declarations of what i desire, and answers to my prayers, the level of my “hope cup” rises.

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