i was invited to hear a pastor’s wife deliver a message especially for single women.  i missed out (dropped my gate opener in the bushes after i left the apartment gym; spent 15 minutes looking for it) but i can’t say that i’m crushed.  here’s why.

it’s not that i don’t think i would have heard a fresh word from above tonight, but i do feel that i’ve heard the same message repackaged and delivered by the best.

“wait on the Lord to send you a mate.”

“it’s he who finds, not she, so quit looking.”

“when you’re not looking it’ll happen.”

“pursue your passion, seek God, and the rest will fall into place.”

all my life i’ve felt the pressure to “be with somebody.”  as a teenager the push was the all important first kiss.  then it was on to college to find an “older man.”  into my 20s the focus was a “long-term” relationship. and now, in my 30s the expectation (real or imagined) is to find that special man and settle down.

i sat under a great pastor for 13 years and still i didn’t make the best choices.  but he showed me from the Word of God how to live holy, how to trust God, and how important it is to wait on Him to provide for me in ALL areas of my life.

rather than attending single’s bible studies and conferences that tell us “live holy” and “wait on the Lord,” what i would like to see is a single’s conference that actually celebrates single men and women for what they are doing to advance the body of Christ.  single teachers, songwriters, authors, mentors, scriptwriters who are combating the garbage music and television with messages of hope, healing, and deliverance.  mature, single adults of all ages who are sold out for Christ and are showing the world that the single life is a blessed life.

not all single folk are on the hunt for a mate; neither do we need married folks to try and find us “somebody.” some of us are right where we need to be:  growing our faith so we can help somebody else who is struggling with theirs.  just as Christ told Simon Peter in Luke 21: 31-33,

³¹ And the Lord said,“Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. ³² But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

that, to me is our greatest call as single folk, using the challenges we have overcome to encourage one another.