within each person is the desire to achieve the best outcomes in life and reach our greatest potential.  we want to avoid pain and disappointment at any cost.  this desire is so strong it leads us to believe that our actions are pure as the driven snow.  desire is merely a euphemism for selfishness.

selfishness leads a woman to divorce her husband because she cannot or will not forgive his transgressions.  against all counsel to the contrary, she moves forward with the divorce and disrupts the lives and relationships of her family and friends.  the surprise is that life didn’t improve after her divorce was final.  as part of the decree she was forced to sell the house, make repairs before it could be sold, pay the attorneys, and give her ex half of the proceeds.

pursuit of professional goals tells a manager, you’ve been at this company for 10 years, you should be a VP.  so the politicking begins and since a rising tide floats all boats, those who share that perspective are elevated.  those who are in a different tide pool are washed ashore like abandoned sea shells, while the newly formed organization continues to focus on MBOs (management by objectives) and profit sharing.

sadly, selfishness isn’t relegated to secular environs, no, manifest destiny rears its head in pulpits, church business meetings, and the pews.  the desire to use ministry volunteers to further one’s own goal of obtaining full-time employment isn’t impacted by declining attendance or email resignations.

at what point do we stop focusing on self and turn our attention to the needs of others?  why is it so difficult for us to understand that if we spend our time thinking of ways to help others that our needs will be met?

there is nothing wrong with pursuing personal goals, i fully believe in self-actualization (nod to Maslow) but there is a line to be drawn when self-fulfillment is achieved at the expense of others.