who stays at your place for 8 weeks and never once washed dishes, took out the trash or the recycling?

who buys a new car, loads the trunk with stuff from their old car and says, oh, i can’t drive to the recycle center because my trunk is full.

the day you drive to the recycle center to drop off the recycling, who hops in your car and says “don’t you think i need to know where the recycle center is so i can take my stuff?” and then sits there like a spoiled child when you don’t respond? upon arrival at the recycle center, who sits in the car while you move from bin to bin sorting the recycling and depositing it in the correct receptacles?

who leaves you sitting at their new place while they drive back to your place then texts you “WHERE ARE YOU? MY FOOD IS GONNA BE COLD!” and again sits there like a child when you drop off the shit left in your car and go to your room?

who eats out EVERY DAY, loads up the recycle bin with pizza boxes, pop tart boxes, and newspapers, but never once bags up the recycling? a

who says, what do you use the big trash bags for? oh, i took a few of those to transport my stuff to my house.

who sees your black portfolio, removes your resumes, prints resumes, inserts them into your portfolio (because their portfolio is packed and hasn’t arrived) TELLS you they’ve done this and then laughs about it?

who seizes your spiral notebook (the sacred one with your outlines, story ideas, notes from the Iowa writing workshop) marks it up with whatever, and replaces it with a new one?  who doesn’t realize that your writing is fucking personal and that it’s not ok to commandeer your shit?  who then responds with “no prob” when you say, “i need that notebook back, it has my writing in it”?

who hides the fact that they’ve moved (except from 6 people) then gets angry that these people are talking about the move?

who loans money, buys flowers for every mother they know but delays paying you $112 for the po box you opened until AFTER they move out 8 weeks later?

who observes your schedule and says, “i will come straight home from work and lock up because once i get home that’s it,” and they say this with such conviction, forgetting that you have taken time during your work day to entertain random questions, pickup their car and return a rental?

who takes 30 days to mail a package for you because they “come straight home from work! don’t make any stops! the post office is not on my way home!” but doesn’t think twice about how you have taken time from your work day and after work to help them?

who manages to find a hairdresser, pays $300 for a new ‘do but can’t seem to find the recycle center, the trash compactor or offer you $20 just because?

who goes on a tirade for 10 minutes about family members who “don’t show gratitude” tells you that “family will fuck you” and says “i don’t have or want friends” when you and yourr friends have extended themselves to help?

who says “are you gonna help me move my stuff into my new place?” when you’re working every day all day? and sometimes into the night?

who spills makeup on your carpet but gets the carpets at their new place cleaned? who breaks the knob off your ceiling fan, doesn’t tell you, laughs about it and leaves it broken when they move?

tell me, who does this?