sisters, i have been (and am still on) a journey of self-discovery, doubt, trust, and faith. i am learning that when i bare my soul to those i trust, not the universe of women ready to dispense advice like Pez, but to those who truly have my best interests at heart, that is when the God who created the universe will open doors and reveal His truth to me.
can I just be honest? real? i’ve been battling myself, allowing doubt to enter and disrupt my faith in the One who makes all things possible. despite a recent promotion and doors of opportunity opening to me, i have questioned if i know how to pray, what prayer is, if prayer really works and changes situations or if situations just are. what i am finding, and the journey has just begun so roll with me, this could be a lengthy ride, is that while prayer is a conversation with the Lord God Almighty, a conversation requires both talking AND listening. i have been doing a lot of talking and not much listening. i have not checked the Word to verify my understanding of what the Lord is saying through Scripture and this has led to a deep misunderstanding of the One Whom I call Father. misunderstandings lead to mistrust and frustration, broken relationships, and stunted growth. so sisters, i am listening. listening to those who have walked this road ahead of me, to those who are still on the path and struggling as i am to keep placing one foot in front of the other. those who have had seasons of doubt, uncertainty but resolved to continue trusting. i am listening to the stories of women (and men) of faith who prayed and didn’t receive an answer, but resolved to continue praying anyway.
sisters, I believe with every fiber of my being that we are destined for greatness and when an obstacle appears, be it real or a construct of our own minds, we must, absolutely unequivocally must, use every weapon in our arsenal to destroy that obstacle. in spite of the scrapes and bloodied hands and knees we must attempt to climb over it and when we stand on its peak we can see more clearly what the obstacle was blocking from our view. the destiny that is ours. the business we are to launch, the family we are to build, the physical and mental weights that we are to release to experience what my dear friend refers to as “our best self.” as I bandage my bruised hands and rub ointment onto my skinned knees in pursuit of my future, i ask you: what are you allowing to obstruct your view? are you delaying what is promised to you out of fear or self-doubt?
sometimes we don’t want to ask ourselves the tough questions, and we certainly don’t want anyone else asking questions we aren’t ready to consider. when the answers come, and they will, just know that what is revealed is not always pretty. in fact, it may be downright hideous. but don’t shrink away from it. know that this SBF is staring her faults and frailties down, maybe with squinted eyes because they are hard to look at, but doing it anyway. one eye, both eyes looking squarely at my truth and asking the Creator to help me see beyond it to the destiny He has in store for me. sisters, let’s be great together. support each other as we climb, mend one another’s broken places, and embrace the healing that is certain to follow.