believe them

after watching bird box, an odd film on netflix, a male friend of mine messaged me and said, i can easily see you naming your kids boy and girl so as to not get too attached. radio silence. i was taken aback at his declaration of fact and fired back, when i am insulted i […]

where is your faith?

the bible says, “the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.” i’ve always thought of that scripture in terms of the tangible: finances, relationships, job, but it came to me so clearly that the devil has stolen bits of my faith with each passing year of dreams deferred. i was never much of a believer […]

surely i will

this is a shitty end to 2018. my mentor and sister-girlfriend lost her battle with cancer in october. a woman i referred to as grandmother had a heart attack and passed away in november. i last saw her a few summers ago, my dad snapping a photo of us in her living room as she […]

renew your mind

i tore my house apart this morning searching for a notebook. i have scribblings all over the place. journals, scraps of paper with phrases, passwords jotted on post-it notes. i panicked because i couldn’t find the notebook. where the fuck did i put it? what else is in it? i spent at least an hour […]

3am musings

there’s a place within that’s hard to reach. it takes effort to find it (for the one who is willing to try) and once there, it takes courage (and a span of sevens) for access to be granted. once in awhile a curious soul attempts to find the hidden door beyond which lies generosity, loyalty, […]

fight on

for several weeks now i’ve been burdened, i wake up shrouded in a wet wool blanket. i shower and the blanket is heavier. i drive to work and my car is covered in the same itchy fabric.  when i read the headlines of children ripped from their parents because this government deems them illegals, when […]

the road ahead

i finally took a vacation in may, a roadtrip from troy, ny to montreal, quebec. i loaded up my rented kia optima with snacks and settled in for the 3.5h drive up i-87 not knowing what was on the road ahead. the drive was marked by rain, not blinding but enough to have the wipers […]

happy father’s day, chief

in honor of father’s day i must dedicate this post to my dad. this guy has the biggest heart of anyone you’d ever met. he will give anyone the shirt off his back, buy them a meal, then ask them, do you know Christ? and proceed to share the gospel with them. i’ve seen him […]

the reunion

several weeks ago i went home to attend a concert. my ex is a bass player and the band he was in when we dated 20 years ago was holding their reunion concert. he set aside two tickets for me and in anticipation of seeing this man after probably 15 years i hopped a flight, picked […]

things no one tells you: your mom is only human

in honor of mother’s day, i decided to write about me and my mom. when i turned 35 i thought about my mother. at 35 she had been married twice and had 5 kids, the youngest (me) wasn’t even a year old. our relationship has been marred by anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness. as a child […]