wooden soldiers

i’m sitting in my living room at 13 minutes past midnight with Duff from Ace of Cakes on the telly when i hear this a sound like someone is on my front porch.  after the attempted break-in where someone tried to kick my door in, every noise startles me.  i keep two 2x4x3 boards in the entryway as a sort of rudimentary security system.  i suspect some junior architect designed this place so i imagine facing doors:  you enter from the garage through one door and immediately in front of you is the door that leads to the front yard.  brilliant.

the boards have become a bit of a barrier in the morning as i lumber down 14 stairs, balancing my laptop bag, purse, lunch, and platform sandals, only to stop short of the last step, set everything down on and remove the boards so i can get out the door.

it’s odd but those boards allow me to sleep soundly every night.  i imagine some fool deciding he (or she) wants to give it a go at kicking in my door.  i smile at the thought of a would-be burglar kicking with all their might, my $3 plywood crimestoppers standing guard like wooden soldiers. nothing like a broken leg as payment for attempted larceny.

i have a zero tolerance policy for crime. my car was stolen, right out of my apartment complex parking lot, on another occasion the same crook magnet was broken into and the stereo and CD case was stolen.  i was blind with rage that day. i swear, had i interrupted the thieves at work, i would have gone to jail for sure.

consider this, there are individuals whose daily job is to commit a crime and not get caught.  they spend their waking hours planning or committing a crime while the rest of us spend our waking hours fighting traffic, dealing with work crazies, and then fighting traffic again. is it any wonder that people choose to protect self rather than be victimized?  by that i mean people are packing heat.  i was ready to head to the gun range after coming home to a split door.  my girlfriends were thankful that my zeal for a Sig Sauer had passed.

with or without a piece of steel, as Samuel Jackson quoted from the Book of Ezekiel in Pulp fiction:

“…And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”


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