Why did you say yes?

Rob Porter. David Sorensen. Al Franken. Harvey Weinstein. John Hockenberry. Matt Lauer. Roy Moore. Bill Cosby. these men comprise a hall of fame list of abusers, adulterers, and misogynists and every single one of them are married, some more than once. the details of their indiscretions have been bandied about in the news, debated on […]

freedom begins in the mind

we have euphemisms for everything: he’s on that stuff, where, stuff is drugs, narcotics.  by contrast, “he got that stuff” means he has AIDS or is HIV positive. he’s “different” or “like that” or “funny.” back then such phrases meant gay, today we don’t even speak the word and if we do, it’s said in […]

let hope dance

my dad called tonight looking for my sister whose flight was due to arrive around 11am this morning. of course he knew i’d know where she was and i did: she was in her hotel dreading the 30 minute drive across the river to his house. before we ended the call he asked, are those […]

grace and mercy

friends, when i mess up and spend what seems like hours ranting to a colleague about someone else who messed up, i must fess up. what a morning. mini fires burning throughout the work forest and i am not smoky the bear. while i’m trying to address these issues, tonka calls me. we go on […]

look at this fool

so the book title, “look at this fool” has more material than i could ever imagine. the latest in a line of fools is “the sheik” who made his presence known via a social media site. we worked at the same company before he joined the company i’m at now. he asks me to take […]

the truthteller

the truth is, i’m mad at myself. mad that i let myself waste 4 years. some months ago a different ex asked me why i’m single. he went on to list all my fabulous attributes, and trust me there are many, and wanted to know “what’s the deal? you keep yourself up, i know you […]

color me badd

i am convinced that white women are hyper-sexualized. they like to talk bout it, be sexy (or try to be), find otu what you do or think about it, write about it. they are obsessed with sex, sexuality, beauty, and weight. during the lecture this morning, my instructor was on the panel and the topic […]


i don’t know the first thing about being “gluten-free.” fat free, sugar free, calorie free, yes, but gluten? we’re at dinner and i overhear one of the ladies say, “oh, she didn’t join us because she’s gluten-free. she has to prepare her own meals.” another other lady says, “so am i.  i manage to find […]

out of towner

what i look like here is NOT what i look like in real life. here i look like a camper. shapeless tops, mid-thigh and knee-length shorts, with silver and blue Asics that almost never match my outfit. i would be arrested immediately by stacey and clinton. and in truth, by myself. to see me, walking […]

cracking coconuts

is everyone thin? shapeless? skinny is one thing, lean even, but shapeless sticks gliding past like stilt-walkers? only one person had shape and i envied her. thighs that could crack coconuts. reminded me of the chick from boxing years ago. what was her name? white chick. another one. jesus. they’re everywhere, like ants at a […]