mental stew

i arrived at church at 1140, walked in, heard pastor say they were collecting offering and walked right out.  all the way there i was complaining about the leaders, the issues that i perceive, how they measure up to MOBC and i decided i’m way too late and i don’t want to bring this spirit into this place. church attendance is expected (hebrews 10:25) but where you attend is a choice.  i’m undecided on if it’s time to leave where i am. he’s still preaching the word, from the bible, with conviction. but the rest of it. the leadership, the gaps in ministries to 20-somethings in college – the one group that seems to produce so many single moms.  yet we pour effort into the babies, the youth (gimmicks to keep them in church), married couples, and the seniors. the singles of all ages are cast-aways. we serve and the assumption is we have copious amounts of spare time, yet the vision has nothing to do with singles.

i just watched an engaging show on OWN about dogs. i’ve never been a dog lover. never understood people who let their dog lick their face and talk to them like they’re people. but in watching this and considering my thoughts on parenting and kids, i would definitely want to be a dog owner before signing up to be a parent. you don’t have to worry about a dog developing a mental illness, getting an STD or getting pregnant, shooting up a school or a grocery store. you just have to feed them, walk them, and take them to the vet regularly.  seems easy enough. and all they want in return is for you to pet them, to scratch them behind the ears, and rub their belly.

a side hustle. what do i enjoy doing that could produce a second income? not a pyramid scheme but something i do regularly and effortlessly that i could earn money doing. i say this as i look at these emails and try to consolidate the information into a single spreadsheet. totally devoid of any joy. there must be a better way, something that i can do that will translate into income. i’m not asking for my job to bring me peace or joy, i know the bible says only God can do that; no i’m asking to do something 50 hours a week (cuz a 40 hour work week is a thing of the past) where there is peace and not tension, where there is team spirit and excitement for a job well done.

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