shoot the messenger

wednesday.  i celebrated another birthday.  i spent it in san francisco.  nothing spectacular, a massage  at the ICH i-spa and an italian dinner. leading up to my special day i prayed that i wouldn’t hear from A.C.P.  and when the clock struck 12:01am thursday morning, i grinned and thought, God is truly faithful, even in the small things.

friday night.  i got back to town, rushed home to shower, and met up with W and J at brooklyn’s to hear buster brown, a soulful group of talented musicians and vocalists.

saturday.  i finally picked up my mail. i knew my box would be full to overflowing.  amidst the circulars, coupons, and magazines were two card sized envelopes, a red one and a purple one.  i instantly recognized the handwriting on the purple one as my mom’s.  the red card…a bit harder to decipher.  with no return address i studied it for a second before tossing my head back in laughter.  my ex.

was this a cosmic joke?  what happened to my prayer?  clearly i was not specific enough.  (note to self:  when asking God for something, leave no room for interpretation.)  i open the envelope and find a white chick in a bikini balancing on some rocks.  has there been some mistake?  did you insert the wrong card?  surely you didn’t intend to send this to ME.  i open it and the pay-off is even worse than the set-up. not hallmark and certainly not mahogany.   i skip to the inscription.  he wanted me to know that he remembers my birthday and wishes me all the best.  um, is this where i say thank you and rush to the phone? some inappropriate card with a handwritten message that doesn’t align with the picture?  did you just walk into the card aisle and grab the first one you saw?

to be brutally honest, it matters little to me that he “remembers me” or my birthday.

am i bitter?  not in the least.  am i surprised that he remembered my birthday?  nope. he’s managed some semblance of contact on my birthday for the past 5 years.  the bitter pill of surprise is his poor choice of expression. i mean honestly, if you’re going to send a birthday card to your ex after months of silence, at least choose something appropriate or better yet, save your $2.59 + postage.

this leaves me to wonder, what drives a man to reach out to a woman after 9 months of silence?  after they have amicably (or so she thinks) parted ways?  what, praytell, is the reason to attempt communication? especially something as stupid as this?

now i know why people shoot the messenger.

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