how many men do you know that have kids, only because they let it slip out or because you happened to see them out with their children?  i find that men can, and often do, hide that they are single parents but for women, there is no place to hide.  you know right away when a woman has kids.  “no i can’t go to happy hour, i have to pick up my son from daycare,” or “it’s time to go school shopping,” or “i’m beat.  one of my kids had basketball practice and the other had a game.”  never do i hear that from a single man.

sitting at service on sunday there were three women in front of me.  they were attractive women in their 20s.  each of them had a child.  i’m guessing the youngest child was 2, the oldest maybe 4.  throughout service i noticed how they wrestled with the kids.  the 2-year old was a cutie pie with a curly black afro. restless and curious she was the spitting image of her mother.  the 3 year old was a rambunctious boy who could easily have been at a playground, not sitting in a church balcony.  the calmest of the three was the little girl with braids and barretts in her hair.

the two year old kept her mother busy, so much so that i heard, “stop it!” more than once during the prayer.  the 3 year old must have had the bladder of a grape as his mom left twice while i was there.  i could tell that the mother of the 4 year old wasn’t having any of the shenanigans going on to her left.  the little girl looked at the boy hopping around and using his outside voice and the bubble over her head said, ‘i wish i could do that.’  one look from her mother erased that thought.

considering i didn’t see a man in sight, or rings on any fingers, i assumed they were all single women.  where the hell were the daddies?  how often do you see a row of single men sitting with their 2, 3 or 4 year old?

on a given Sunday there will be a baby dedication.  a single woman is standing before the congregation, presenting her child to the Lord, and the child’s father is conspicuously absent.  i cannot count the number of times in the last 3 years that i’ve seen women stand alone accompanied not by the baby’s father but by their aunts, uncles, sisters and mother.  i’m not even sure if the woman’s own father is standing with her.

if there are this many single mothers sitting in church you KNOW the fathers are sitting somewhere else keeping quiet about his baby mama and lil man.