I’ve been listening to Charles Stanley talk about success, God’s way.  He’s really been stomping around in my life.  I’ve been questioning whether or not management is what I want to do.  Do I believe I’m a leader.  Yes.  Do I want to lead in this crazy environment? No.  I wonder if I believed what other people said and allowed myself to get into management at this fool ass company when that’s not really my desire. but what is?  I feel like there are so many devils in that place, people who really don’t want to see me succeed and I think, why try?  when the odds are so clearly stacked against me in that place why bother trying to build a team?

But Charles says, don’t worry about who is against you, don’t quit, don’t give up, know that God has planned your success and He desires your success. I believe that’s true, I just wonder, how do I make it through each day?  Tension so thick it reminds me of growing up.  No team spirit, no collaboration, no “how can I help” just  bunch of individuals with their own agenda. And oh by the way, the company isn’t doing well either.

I daydream about resigning. About the company and position I will have. About the new team I will work with.  I want to work with people who are in it for the company’s gain, and not their own. People who want to help others.  A company with leaders: people who know how to rally their teams, how to cast vision, and how to influence others.  A company with managers: the tactical folks who get the job done.  These are the people who will pitch in and do the work of the team even though they have a “manager” title.

It’s coming. I must believe it is.